Growth

Confusion between who I am and who I want to be

When we are confused about who we are and who we want to be, its seems like a daunting task to figure out why the confusion is there in the first. Usually when we are confused, we are seeking clarity for the confusion that in fact is caused by the mind perceiving how something should be or in this case, how I should be. 

In the video below, I share reasons for the confusion and how to understand it so you don’t become consumed by it.

Advertisements

Find your way back to your self

78b6984e36c23fcd4b481372ee0d96ad
We’ve all been there, that place where we lose sight of our self and who we are. How do we find our way back to our self? How do we open our hearts to courage so that we can take that step towards being with our self? We must begin, no matter how painful, no matter how low, no matter how frustrated, no matter how irritated and no matter how upset we are. We have to believe that even in the darkness there is a light shining. This light is not on the outside, but on the inside. Inside of you, where it remains lit, untamed and unshaken by any winds from the outside. Why? Because the outside circumstances, situations, emotions, thoughts or feeling have no affect on it. The only affect on it is the effect of eternal love; which is its fuel. This is the reason why this light burns in the first place. To realize this knowing is the initial step in allowing yourself to come back to  your self. When you grasp on to the stillness presented in this presence, you can use it as a rope to pull yourself out of wherever it is that you’ve gotten yourself lost into. Take a step towards accepting that where you are right now is okay, but its not where you belong. You belong in the open loving arms of your self, with the one that accepts you and loves you unconditionally. The conditions in which you are right now, are not conditions of your self. They are imaginary puppets of your dualistic mind, whose only requirement is that you obey it, honor it and listen to it. What if you didn’t do that? What if you chose not to listen? What if you decided to break the chains with which it has tied you down? Instead, what if you chose to honor Creation, of whose masterpiece you are? And what if you lovingly chose to honor your true self? You are not separate from your self, your mind creates the separation in order to satisfy its desire to always be in charge. Always be in control. Always be in the limelight. Your self doesn’t need this limelight, because its light is not one to be reckoned with or even one of comparison to the mind. It burns confidently in its knowing of who it is and who it has come here to be. Sit with this conscious knowing, thank it and allow it to embrace you and allow it to guide you back home, back to your self.

How to Overcome a Setback

Image

You are driving down the Pacific West Highway, feeling the wind in your hair and listening to your favorite tunes all while admiring the beautiful blue ocean. Life is good; you feel content with not a care in the world. Then, all of the sudden you get a flat tire and your perfect scenario turns into a not so perfect hot mess, with you having to figure out how to fix a flat tire.

Scenarios like these are a common occurrence in this beautiful existence called life. The minute we feel like things are going good, all of the sudden the exact opposite happens and we find ourself down in the dumps; caught up in a storm. How do we recover? How do we overcome it? How do we move beyond what we are going through so we can feel better and be ourself again?

 Shift the focus from what has gone wrong to what has gone right. Every situation, opportunity or event comes bearing lessons to learn, something to grow from. When you can stop looking at it as an attack on you; you stop trying to make it your story and give it life by drowning yourself with compulsive thoughts that are far from helping you. Your thoughts create a spiral affect and you begin to get caught up in very powerful emotions that start to eat you from the inside out. In moments like these its so crucial to bring it back to the breathe, focusing on your inhalation and exhalation, but also surrendering to what the moment holds for you. Embrace it. Accept it. Sit with it. Let it be. Don’t shun it. Don’t shun yourself nor beat yourself up. Open up your heart to send love and compassion to those parts of you that strongly feel troubled; they need it now. Only with love and compassion towards yourself can you begin true healing and open up a doorway to understanding what your feelings are trying to tell you. Once you can accept that your feelings always work for you; not against you, you will allow room for new a perspective to enter.Choosing to see something beyond its actuality; is choosing to see it down to its barebones, because the obvious isn’t always subtle or easily identifiable. It may take some time to pin point where the tension lies, but remember to uncover anything you have to be willingly go deeper, go inward.
By taking the initial responsibility to embrace the moment as it is; you can welcome space into your being to move forward from a place of calm and peace. Remember its not about how well you can avoid the storm, but how well you can deal with it.

BY THE WAY

Many times we are too afraid to step out, let the world hear our voice, share what we have to offer all because of this little nonsense voice inside our heads that somehow talks us into believing that we are not good enough, and perhaps that we may never be enough. Stop right here, because you know what, as you are…you are enough. Think about it, you are a walking, talking, breathing miracle…living in paradise, you just have to awaken yourself to it, and be willing to realize it. If you have dreams, passions, goals or aspirations…follow through. It doesn’t matter if you think its not “original” or  its not good enough, because it is. We all have our own contribution and services to give to the world, its coming from you, that in itself is unique.

Anything you have a burning desire to do, do it and don’t go down the what if highway. Its not about comparison or competition that will get you far, but its about being who you are and realizing that you have a gift to offer. You are you, and you cannot be and will not be someone else.

New Year Resolutions?

It’s that time of the year again where everyone is thinking what their New Year Resolutions will be. This year, I am doing something different. For the year 2014, I am choosing to take a conscious approach rather than following a goal-oriented, results based method. Why? Because the ‘typical’ way of making a New Year Resolution is too heavily focused on the end result, rather than the process. In 2014 for me, its all about the process, the journey and most of all the feelings. Therefore, inspired by Danielle LaPorte and her Core Desire Feelings mapping, I have chosen to focus on my core desire feelings for 2014. I chose 5 core desire feelings:

1. Joy 2. Abundance 3. Synergy 4. Inspired 5. Connection

These are the top 5 feelings I am/want to feel in 2014; and the activities I choose, the way I live and how I approach my life is based on these feelings. Its not about changing yourself to become a better version of yourself, its about BEING yourself and focusing on what that means to you. Choose to just BE and forget about becoming. When you focus on your being, you can express it fully as well as choose how you want to feel at all times. So this year, I invite you to ditch making New Year Resolutions and instead focus on your core desire feelings. What makes you come alive, what make you feel connected with your inner self, what is joy for you? Ask yourself a few questions and get mapping on your desired feelings!

I’ve also made a video about this topic, which you can watch here.

Share below what your core desire feelings for 2014 are. Happy Monday!

“It’s not what we have but what we enjoy that constitutes our abundance.” – Epicurus

How to get Back on Track

In this video I share a personal story of a “slip up”, what I learned and how to get back on track. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is get started and to begin again when we slip up. It’s all a matter of understanding what message your slip up has for you, as well as how you choose to identify with it.

Please share below, how you’ve overcome your own slip ups. If you found this video helpful, give me a tweet at @DEARKAJAL and/or share it with a friend. I would appreciate that 🙂

Have a great weekend!

tumblr_mxctf0n9lI1qf3lleo1_1280

Backstage

What do you do when you feel lost, confused, fed up and overall just really in a fog? That is exactly how I feel right now, and I can’t precisely pinpoint why. It sort of snuck up on me all of the sudden, it didn’t even give me a warning! All my emotions are a jumbled mess in my head. If there was a weather forecast for my head it would say this, “50 degrees with winds at 25 mph and 90% chance of flooding.”

Why do I feel this way? Well, I know that I am in a cycle of self destruction and self loathing right now. As to why I fall into these cycles of cynical disposition with my self, I have no clue. Perhaps a sense of unfulfillment, boredom, lack of joy, lack of self expression, but I think most of all the lack of self worth. I feel like I am doing absolutely nothing with my life, and the reality of the matter is that I am not. I am a lazy bum who loves to sit around all day and just wait…wait for what? I have no clue. Wait for the day that dollar bills pour out of the sky so then I can go on epic adventures around the globe, visiting and escaping from this treacherous world of insanity. But I can’t do that, and I won’t do that. Whats the point in running away, escaping and avoiding? This too is a part of the beautiful journey of life, and it too must be experienced. Because within these sappy, sad experiences lie crucial information about who you are. When you can stop trying to resist this state you can try to understand it and eventually the gift in it. Challenges always come bearing gifts. Every time you have a challenge remember there is also a gift involved, so keep your chin up and let them come. You’ve got this, you can handle anything, because nothing is greater than you. You are indestructible and you cannot be demolished. So stay with it, it too shall pass. Trust. No more comparison to what others are doing, or how amazing and wonderful their accomplishments are. So what if they are doing great things on stage, but do you know what’s going on backstage? You are taking care of the backstage stuff, so the show can shine on the front and center stage. You are taking the time to really understand, embrace and get to know the material so even if the there is glitch during the show.  You will remain calm, but most of all you will be able to stay with your peace and joy. There is no rush or something to have…it happens when it will, your only requirement is that you show up for yourself daily and choose to live this joyride called life. Live it fearlessly, live it with passion and most of all live it with authenticity!

If you can relate, tweet me @dearkajal. Share your input and spread the awareness!

Confidence is Simple

In this video, I talk about why confidence is simple and really break down what confidence embodies. I upload a new video every Monday. To watch more videos, subscribe to my YouTube channel {here}.

Tweet me @dearkajal

Dear Monday,

Thanks for having the word “mon” in you. That’s french for “mine”, in case you weren’t aware, Monday, but it makes me think of you more as “my day” and frankly that sounds like a much more promising start to the week.

Happy Monday!