A tea cup rested on the table right across from me as I gazed my eyes all around its composition. It was slender at the bottom, fuller at the top. It was all white with a blue sketching of a hummingbird which sat right at its rim, as if it were looking into the hallow cup. It had a softness and gentleness about it as it sat there on top of the saucer. Its handle reminded me of long slender fingers of a girl whose nails were always painted red. The tea cup seemed so lady-like and proper, it was a perfect companion to delicate caring hands that would handle it with care as it held a fragrant floral green tea for sipping and tasting.
A heavy blanket sits on my shoulder dragging along the ground, constantly getting caught on every root and rock I pass. Each pull, each catch, slows me until I am crawling on my hands and knees. In front of me is warm place, a place of peace where birds chirp and the sun always shines. It seems as if it is so close yet each obstacle slows me down more and more. Will they go away? Will I ever make it to my Eden? I run, I jog, I walk, I crawl viciously cycling through this endless wheel of doubt.
Through my own personal experiences I’ve learned writing is a great way to understand the invisible layers of thoughts that are going on in the mind. I asked a friend of mine to write for 5 minutes without thinking too much and just allowing the words to flow through onto paper. Then, I dissected the writing to help them gain clarity and understanding about what was going on (the above writing). From just the mere few written lines something astounding was discovered. The discovery was that, the blanket was something very dear to them as a child and it represented comfort and the feeling of safety. It still represents the same things today. Being ‘just comfortable’ whether in a relationship, studying only to pass an exam, or not having to step outside the box was how they lived their life. However, it caused a lot discomfort and an underlying itch to break free of this belief to live a more fulfilling life. The writing depicts the belief they have been holding on to since childhood and why it has become necessary to let go of it. By knowing this, we came up with a few things they could start doing on a daily basis to get past this subconsciousness belief. Today, this person has overcome so many of their fears and has really started to become who they really are!
Try this for yourself. Sit down with a pen and paper. Just write for 5 minutes (don’t stop, don’t read back on what you’ve written till the time is up) then go back and read what you’ve written. It will amaze you. If you’d like to gain a better understanding and get some insight on what you wrote, you can send me what you wrote titled ‘Words Within’ through the contact tab at the top right hand corner of the blog. I would love to help out!
I feel tightness in my chest as though a giant boulder is resting on my heart, my most prized possession. I feel confused, overwhelmed, lost, peace-less and even unaware of its presence, but one thing is for sure, I feel it! I begin to cage myself in so it won’t harm me, break my bones or be able to carve an imprint onto my canvas. I tell myself its just a feeling and this too shall pass, just like rain drops pouring out of a gray cloud. However this doesn’t pass and I begin to fret and worry. I think of all the ‘what if’ scenarios in my head playing them over and over like a song on a broken record. I cringe, I tap my foot on the cold concrete floor, I fiddle with my silky hair and I even try to listen to the sweet tunes of dancing strings on a guitar. Nothing seems to make this feeling disappear or make it go away. I continue to lose all grip and understanding like I’ve suddenly been thrown out of a plane in mid air, and gravity isn’t there to catch me. Its turned its back on me. The only thing that I feel now is tears filling my eyes making them wet, creating a pool of warm water as they embrace my delicate aurora of sight, hugging them tightly until finally letting go to flow like a water fall on to my cheek. Dripping of my sharp jaw to hit the crisp white paper allowing itself to settle right in. I repeat to myself I am…I am…I am…I am LOVE and let love tightly coil around me until I can only feel the sound of my heart in unity with my breathe.
The writer within me tells me to write, but the thinker within me says this is not a good time, you can barely focus. How are you gonna be able to put two words together that make sense? The writer responds, its not making words into sentences or even making sense, its expression. Expression of the soul. There is never a perfect time or a right time for expression…anytime is the perfect time. Its up to you to make the move, to start. Expression is infinite, boundless and limitless. Its eternal. Express yourself!