Backstage

What do you do when you feel lost, confused, fed up and overall just really in a fog? That is exactly how I feel right now, and I can’t precisely pinpoint why. It sort of snuck up on me all of the sudden, it didn’t even give me a warning! All my emotions are a jumbled mess in my head. If there was a weather forecast for my head it would say this, “50 degrees with winds at 25 mph and 90% chance of flooding.”

Why do I feel this way? Well, I know that I am in a cycle of self destruction and self loathing right now. As to why I fall into these cycles of cynical disposition with my self, I have no clue. Perhaps a sense of unfulfillment, boredom, lack of joy, lack of self expression, but I think most of all the lack of self worth. I feel like I am doing absolutely nothing with my life, and the reality of the matter is that I am not. I am a lazy bum who loves to sit around all day and just wait…wait for what? I have no clue. Wait for the day that dollar bills pour out of the sky so then I can go on epic adventures around the globe, visiting and escaping from this treacherous world of insanity. But I can’t do that, and I won’t do that. Whats the point in running away, escaping and avoiding? This too is a part of the beautiful journey of life, and it too must be experienced. Because within these sappy, sad experiences lie crucial information about who you are. When you can stop trying to resist this state you can try to understand it and eventually the gift in it. Challenges always come bearing gifts. Every time you have a challenge remember there is also a gift involved, so keep your chin up and let them come. You’ve got this, you can handle anything, because nothing is greater than you. You are indestructible and you cannot be demolished. So stay with it, it too shall pass. Trust. No more comparison to what others are doing, or how amazing and wonderful their accomplishments are. So what if they are doing great things on stage, but do you know what’s going on backstage? You are taking care of the backstage stuff, so the show can shine on the front and center stage. You are taking the time to really understand, embrace and get to know the material so even if the there is glitch during the show.  You will remain calm, but most of all you will be able to stay with your peace and joy. There is no rush or something to have…it happens when it will, your only requirement is that you show up for yourself daily and choose to live this joyride called life. Live it fearlessly, live it with passion and most of all live it with authenticity!

If you can relate, tweet me @dearkajal. Share your input and spread the awareness!

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