Loving yourself is an inside job, literally…there is no other way around it. Years of self hate, criticism, I’m not good enough, I’m less than, and I’m worthless are symptoms of the self hate “disease”. The “disease” makes us feel like a victim, and somehow convinces us that we are wrong to think any other way…after all aren’t we all supposed to be extremely hard on ourselves and never cut ourselves any slack? If this sounds like you then you’ve contracted the “disease”.
Loving means feeling, showing, or indicating love and affection. Just like how you feel, show, indicate love for your cat, dog, spouse, mom, etc…you need to do the same for yourself. Its very easy to say, “yeah of course I love myself”, but do you really? When was the last time you complimented yourself? When was the last time you said, “I love my body”? When was the last time you actually told yourself, “I love you”? Little daily practices like such will not only help to build up your self-esteem, but also your self-love. Now it won’t be an overnight process, but remember its more important to have patience and do the work necessary.
I am a “victim” of this disease too and I know what its like to hate yourself. Years and years of convincing myself that I am not better than or I am less than this person, not having the confidence to look at someone in the eye when I spoke, or crying myself to sleep at night because of how miserable I felt. The bottom line to all my symptoms was I had convinced myself that I was meant to be this way and it constantly consumed my mind. I decided to dig deeper inside myself to focus on how I feel when I hate myself, when I worry and when I disrespect myself. How do I feel? I don’t feel good. Then I thought about how I feel when I when I’m smiling, inspired and content? I feel good. So wouldn’t I want to feel good all the time? Yes! Just force a smile and it will instantly make you feel better.
My go to way of easing the pain of self hate is focusing on my breath and as I breathe out saying, “I release these thoughts”. This provides more clarity and calm.
Everyone has the potential to love themselves and you are who you are. It is about learning to embrace that, and truly believing it. Believing in yourself is loving yourself, and when you’ve accepted that, you are unstoppable. Start your day with saying thank you and I love you to yourself. It signifies the appreciation and respect you have for yourself. Surround yourself with images, quotes, people that bring you joy, support and inspire you, they will be your guide on the path back to LOVE.