Month: May 2013

What is Fear?

It’s not who you are that holds you back, It’s who you think you’re not.

For sometime now I’ve been very seriously contemplating following this voice, my intuition, inside me that keeps pestering me. Its saying to make that YouTube video. This voice has been telling me to take action for about a year now and every time I even start to ponder that becoming a possibility, an immense amount of fear comes forth. The loud obnoxious noise of fear hits my heart like I’ve hit head on into a concrete wall. The pain and anxiety set in as questions flood my mind: what the heck would I have to share, why would anyone want to watch me? Then self sabotage follows:  I am not smart, I look like freak on camera, gosh I hate the way I sound. I’ve gone through this viscous cycle way too many times, and I say NO MORE. Fear I will no longer let you run the freaking show…I am going to finally take over.

What is FEAR?

False Evidence Appearing Real

There is absolutely no truth behind our fears, they are other people’s perceptions and garbage that they’ve thrown up onto us and for some reason we feel it to be true for us.  What we think, we feel. What we feel, becomes our belief. What becomes our belief, becomes our truth. Every single feeling comes from our own thinking or what someone else thinks. And our thinking is a by product of our thoughts. We have the power to change our thoughts {no one can think for you, only you can}; therefore, change our thinking and what we BELIEVE to be true for ourselves.

The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek. Use your fear as a compass that is showing you where you should go. Use it to EMPOWER you. Use it as FUEL. Take a step, make a change even a teeny tiny one. Don’t let anymore time pass you by because before you  know it, the time will be up and your light, magnificence, brilliance and love will go unshared with the world. You HAVE something to share. SHARE IT!

Without Fear. With Love.

I am

I feel tightness in my chest as though a giant boulder is resting on my heart, my most prized possession. I feel confused, overwhelmed, lost, peace-less and even unaware of its presence, but one thing is for sure, I feel it! I begin to cage myself in so it won’t harm me, break my bones or be able to carve an imprint onto my canvas. I tell myself its just a feeling and this too shall pass, just like rain drops pouring out of a gray cloud. However this doesn’t pass and I begin to fret and worry. I think of all the ‘what if’ scenarios in my head playing them over and over like a song on a broken record. I cringe, I tap my foot on the cold concrete floor, I fiddle with my silky hair and I even try to listen to the sweet tunes of dancing strings on a guitar. Nothing seems to make this feeling disappear or make it go away. I continue to lose all grip and understanding like I’ve suddenly been thrown out of a plane in mid air, and gravity isn’t there to catch me. Its turned its back on me. The only thing that I feel now is tears filling my eyes making them wet, creating a pool of warm water as they embrace my delicate aurora of sight, hugging them tightly until finally letting go to flow like a water fall on to my cheek. Dripping of my sharp jaw to hit the crisp white paper allowing itself to settle right in. I repeat to myself I am…I am…I am…I am LOVE and let love tightly coil around me until I can only feel the sound of my heart in unity with my breathe.

Bliss Break

Today, right now, in this moment take a BLISS BREAK!

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What is a bliss break?
It’s a little sliver of space between each thought where you mind goes completely blank and a feeling a bliss settles into your conscience.

How is it done?
Close your eyes. Take a long deep breath in, breathe in as much as air you can. Hold your breathe for about 5 seconds and then very slowly exhale pushing out the stale air from the lungs. Repeat 2 to 3 times.

You will feel calm, clear and focused. Try to notice the tiny bit of space between the inhale and exhale, this is the space between your thoughts where you mind is completely blank, like a clean slate. Take a bliss break every hour or at least a few times a day. You’ll notice a shift in your energy and become more mindful of your breathing. Most of us are just breathing to survive and not really breathing to fully live!

Try it! Let me know how it goes for you in the comments below! Like the Facebook page and come say Hi on Twitter, if you would like 🙂

Things

Sometimes I can’t help but sit back and look at the physicality of my surroundings. I’m immersed and consumed by things. Things here, there and everywhere. I feel a sense of urgency to get away from all these things, to set myself free, allow the light within my soul to shine. These things aren’t necessarily holding me back, but I don’t understand their purpose. What is their purpose? To provide happiness, contentment, peace, safety, meaning, pride or fullness? Or is it to keep you in an illusion that there is always something better than what you’ve already got. Within these things lie feelings of restlessness, an eagerness to get more and be more. Sometimes even more doesn’t feel enough. No matter how many things you accumulate; there is always a sense of lack and a continuing desire for more.

I try to reason with myself, tell myself these aren’t the beautiful phenomenons of this world; they are just its made up commodities. The beauty lies in trees, flowers, mountains, forests, rivers, oceans, wanderlust, the living and breathing souls that populate the Earth. Within them rests the truest essence of beauty, but not many look at them with awe or even appreciation. They merely just exist, waiting to be noticed and seen. When I see a cat, I see a soul looking back at me whose eyes speak words that only my soul can decipher, but the emotions are felt all through my body. The translation of this exchange shows up on the lines between my lips that curve upwards to form a gentle smile. In these moments my soul, mind and the body feel deeply rooted and connected to one another in harmonious oneness. I live for these moments, these experiences that shape my internal condition into a bright glow of light, which shines from within my center only sending vibrations of love, forever.

Be who you are if you aren’t you then you are no one.

Loving yourself is an inside job, literally…there is no other way around it. Years of self hate, criticism, I’m not good enough, I’m less than, and I’m worthless are symptoms of the self hate “disease”. The “disease” makes us feel like a victim, and somehow convinces us that we are wrong to think any other way…after all aren’t we all supposed to be extremely hard on ourselves and never cut ourselves any slack? If this sounds like you then you’ve contracted the “disease”.

Loving means feeling, showing, or indicating love and affection. Just like how you feel, show, indicate love for your cat, dog, spouse, mom, etc…you need to do the same for yourself. Its very easy to say, “yeah of course I love myself”, but do you really? When was the last time you complimented yourself? When was the last time you said, “I love my body”? When was the last time you actually told yourself, “I love you”? Little daily practices like such will not only help to build up your self-esteem, but also your self-love. Now it won’t be an overnight process, but remember its more important to have patience and do the work necessary.

I am a “victim” of this disease too and I know what its like to hate yourself. Years and years of convincing myself that I am not better than or I am less than this person, not having the confidence to look at someone in the eye when I spoke, or crying myself to sleep at night because of how miserable I felt. The bottom line to all my symptoms was I had convinced myself that I was meant to be this way and it constantly consumed my mind. I decided to dig deeper inside myself to focus on how I feel when I hate myself, when I worry and when I disrespect myself. How do I feel? I don’t feel good. Then I thought about how I feel when I when I’m smiling, inspired and content? I feel good. So wouldn’t I want to feel good all the time? Yes! Just force a smile and it will instantly make you feel better.

My go to way of easing the pain of self hate is focusing on my breath and as I breathe out saying, “I release these thoughts”. This provides more clarity and calm.

Everyone has the potential to love themselves and you are who you are. It is about learning to embrace that, and truly believing it. Believing in yourself is loving yourself, and when you’ve accepted that, you are unstoppable. Start your day with saying thank you and I love you to yourself. It signifies the appreciation and respect you have for yourself. Surround yourself with images, quotes, people that bring you joy, support and inspire you, they will be your guide on the path back to LOVE.

Manifest 101

I know I am not the only one has heard the word manifest. We all probably first heard the term from the book, The Secret. Now I must admit, I thought it was a bunch of baloney; however, I have decided to give this word some insight.

What does Manifesting mean?
“Acquiring the experience of what it is you want to feel, and living in that experience, and then allowing that experience to come into form” – Gabrielle Bernstein

You are co-creating with the Universe, there are no such things as coincidences. Miracles occur naturally, and when they don’t something has gone wrong.

“Oh, I was thinking about that and it showed up”….thats how life is supposed to be. We get in the way, our limiting beliefs, our negative belief systemsfearsanxiety, our anger towards the past, our future tripping, All of this energy gets in the way of miracles to occur naturally. Therefore, we never realize all the abundance and good that is around….hence manifestation sounds like bulls***t.

How to Manifest? 

1. Clarity, get clear of what is that you want.

2. Get clear about the limiting beliefs, negative beliefs that are blocking you…preventing manifestation from happening.
Clean up your crap….believe in yourself. Believe it and be faithful to your belief. Do work that is needed to lease all those limiting beliefs (this will probably take some time…have patience). Look at how you are blocking yourself (we are speaking mentally here), and trust what the Universe/God will give you to tackle those limiting beliefs…they’ve got your back.

3. Healing….working on releasing the disbelief will be a daily process. The more we let go of the belief, the more we feel what it feels to be in the present of the manifestation.
“You cannot let your outside world dictate your internal condition, the outside world will reflect your internal condition”  –  Gabrielle Bernstein 
If you are letting the outside world tell you you’re not good enough then its a manifestation mishap…your allowing yourself to co-create that. The goal here to focus on the internal (on you).

4. Patience…
“Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety”
– A Course in Miracles 
Have that presence of being certain then we can allow, be in the know, be patient.

Start with cutting the crap out of your life…believing in yourself….to finally loving yourself.

What is Anxiety?

You feel your heart hysterically screaming, yelling, pounding on your chest walls as if enlarged twice its size and beating faster than the speed of light. You try to softly sing it a lullaby that oozes with sweetness to help it make sense of what it’s feeling and why it’ll be okay. The hysteria just keeps getting worse, and you feel like you’re losing a battle that wasn’t even yours to win.

This scenario is all too familiar, but ever wonder why anxiety lurks up?

When we don’t take action, this is what causes anxiety.
Anxiety can only exist when we live in the future.

Anxiety is a symptom of fear based thoughts, which are usually irrational. Irrational because they are not real, they are just an illusion of your worry-some mind. It has convinced you that feeling this way is 100% normal, a-okay. And we repetitively keep letting ourselves feel this way because its the only way we know how to feel.

What now? How do you fix it, make amends with your anxiety?

Heal yourself. Healing is to make whole and complete.

How to?

Use this simple phrase throughout your day, “I love……{fill in the blank}”. Do this as often as you need to during the day. The point of this is to shift your focus or perception inward, to you.

For example:
I love writing, traveling, inspiring others.

Then pick 1 thing that you love and do that 1 thing. When you’re taking action and allowing that passive energy to be released, you’ll also release anxiety. Eventually, you will begin to center yourself as you shift your attention onto all the lovely things that make up who you are.

The most important thing is to keep up with it and make it a part of your spiritual practice. The only way to master something is to keep at it; even when you don’t want to.

Remember: passive energy without action is laziness, which increases anxiety.

Place of Peace

I’ve never really liked to swim or get in the water, but I love the beach and everything about its ambiance down to the mesmerizing beauty it exudes as if it’s purposely putting me into a deep trance, through which an overwhelming feeling of connection erupts within me to the source: love. I yearn for moments like this, these moments cradle my mind and soul into a strong, unbreakable union. Here the ego is not welcome, and it knows better to not even try to interfere, or it’ll feel the warmth and love from the dancing wind as it caresses the palm trees, and the ocean waves as they glide through the water to kiss the sand. This is a place of peace, a place where my mind rides on cruise control and will not stop for any friend of fear: anxiety, self loathing, anger, frustration, etc. (fear has many more friends). I take myself to this beautiful paradise everyday (or at least try to) when the stresses of my reality rive up their training schemes to make my mind run faster and even longer to a destination it doesn’t even know.
The calmness and serenity I feel as I imagine the soft cushion of the cool sand touch my naked feet while I walk along the perfectly uneven shoreline and the glowing light of the sun hits my face, are enough to stop everything into stillness and focus, to awaken my spirit.

My Little Ray of Sunshine

Self doubt consumes me like a deadly Virus consumes its prey, the cell, until it has completely taken over, and can finally reign its rule to focus on expanding its newly conquered kingdom. That is exactly what self doubt does to my mind, to me, my hope, and my little ray of sunshine. It settles in slowly sometimes, but most of the time it chooses to make a bold entrance in, to make sure I know that it has arrived, for a permanent vacation. Anytime, my little ray of sunshine gathers up all the courage she can possibly breathe in with a single breathe, into her being to express herself, to showcase her talents, abilities, skills and intellect for a small or big cause, the self doubt , the “Virus” makes sure she is put in her place of rest and told harshly that this is where she belongs: in a caged realm of delusional reality that was put into existence with precise methodology by the “Virus”. Yet, the little ray of sunshine knows something deep within her that this delusional reality that she lives in, is not really her home and she is longing to go home, to go back to Love. Where an eternal energy filled with limitless warmth from the Sun’s long arms touch her skin, the smell of the salty ocean, sweetness of red velvet cupcakes, and smokiness of firewood will fill her essence with goodness and a huge dose of openness to an infinite awareness of what she is capable of being. A peaceful soul, filled with love, compassion, proactively day by day living her calling back to self; back to the source.

The “Virus” isn’t willingly to let her go because she to him is the companion who he has always longed for, his deepest connection it has ever had and a feeling that only she gives. Each day he shows her the greatness of his power: to multiply and divide, to rationalize all her thoughts that enter her space of being. He tells her that she does not need to pay attention to these useless thoughts and worry her little self. The “Virus” demands her to leave the ‘complex words strung together’ for him to decipher, all he wants her to know is that he will faithfully protect her and stand by her side no matter what, smothering her with his artificial, endless promises that some how seem and feel as special as the unconditional love her kitty gives her.  She, so mesmerized by his allure and kind gesture, succumbs to the convincing words the “Virus” speaks. Yet, she still continues to question their validity until she can no longer reason with them. Then she quietly lays her head to sleep drifting off to meet her most beloved, Dream, who shows her the world, through whose eyes she is able to feel alive, awakened and aware! Dream, serving as her guide she sits on a magic carpet as it floats gracefully through a field beaming with bright sunflowers, who wave her hello, to whom she waves back with the biggest smile her little mouth can possibly shape. The little ray of sunshine can no longer feel the wrath of the “Virus” tightly coiled around her, as another unknown yet very known sensation takes over her perception, the familiar open arms of Love.

Here no self doubt, “Virus”, will trouble her, here she is free: to fly, to roam, to dive deep, to listen to the heartbeat of silence, to immerse herself to find that she isn’t flawed, but just imperfectly perfect as she is. She is kind, beautiful and infinite, she is home.